exurb2a
exurb2a
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poem for one's thirties
main channel - ua-cam.com/channels/imiUgDLbi6P17BdaCZpVbg.html
It’s true that I have compromised on my youth to some degree,
On rare but real occasions I clean the house these days
and instead lumps of pot, prefer just honey in my tea,
Utilise the bottlebank,
Choose a salad over a lunchtime wa-
Can be found out of bed before three,
Weird changes, I'll grant you, not quite where wannabe bohemian me intended to arrive, but I survived, I think,
Of course I miss the younger person's unparalleled Libertine bliss of having zero obligations save for going out on the p*ss,
Of being able to exclusively eat *REEEEEDACTED* and beans on toast for a week and not wondering if that might be slightly nutritionally remiss?
And as a younger man when I would encounter those strange older aliens, old as I am today,
Their lives sounded duller than sloth farts,
Victorians who'd stay home on sunny weekends time to time
or excitedly talk about handing in their tax returns before the deadline,
But they forgot to mention that once you get here, it really isn't so terrible,
Sitting around thinking that was kinda a hard week, it'd be really nice to spend a Saturday getting high to Captain Beefheart and baking apple pie
and realising
oh it's Saturday and I'm an adult,
I'll just do that then,
Encountering a problem so abysmal it would've broken 17 year old you into little pieces of Styrofoam,
Freaking out a little
Then remembering
oh I'm an adult,
I guess I'll just solve this on my own,
Or being old enough to know when to ask for help, and feeling much better for that,
Or having a cat,
Having a cat is great,
Having my cat is great,
She's not for sale,
Or trying to listen more than one talks, or voting, or actually learning to say, in the kindest possible tone, ho hum, you're clearly full of sh*t, I'm bored and going home,
Having the sense to check in your brain now and then, and announce at your discretion
Aight, it's getting kinda weird in here,
I think I'd like to talk to someone in the mental health profession,
A little less obscene, finally at least vaguely interested in
basic dental hygiene,
This strange temporal crusade
of discovering actually the bed looks better made,
If you're coming this way too, I recommend it,
one foot then the next, ageing, mellowing,
Of a Friday night sometime around 33 walking back from the bar
and without warning or fanfare, suddenly realising at last you probably might know just who and what you are,
Because there is a self down there,
a creature that wants things, is scared of things,
That will not allow you to let passing comment go
just because you say so,
If it hurt, then it hurt,
And if for no reason you start dreaming of Argentina
it didn’t come from nowhere,
like, maybe you should go there?
What if we’re here just to be here?
Near to the people one would like to be near,
To not go gentle into that good night
and remain at raves until start of day
but also watch out for sleep deprivation,
hydrate frequently
and to remember that the cynics claiming you can’t fall in love in the first two minutes of meeting someone
are not just dull
but jaded, miserable chucklef*cks
who’d rather spend a lifetime in a sterile titanium box
than admit that life is highly unfair, yes,
but sometimes,
some days,
the most wonderful things happen for absolutely no reason,
Ageing is a small price to pay for getting to enjoy a contentment one didn't see coming,
when you realised growing up really isn’t so bad,
One's pride a little humbler and a heart less fraught and armour-clad,
But Mum and Dad,
Your offspring as I am, may I dare;
deep with gratitude for those years of unerring love and care,
Tying up my shoelaces and coiffuring my hair,
However mature I might endeavour to become, or wise as the years require,
I will never buy a f*cking air fryer,
I draw the line at fad kitchenware,
Not if it spits out equations for quantum gravity and God pops down and says, "Oooh I thought I left that there,"
Ya'll both can kiss my derriere,
Please stop texting me,
I won't buy a robot cooking pot,
Would sooner tie my kn*b in a sailor's knot,
Or rectally insert and apricot,
Green eggs and spam and Sam-I'm-not,
Not even for soup or ratatouille,
Nor cauliflower or chop suey,
Not if it can simultaneously jerk me off and play Banjo-Kazooie
I have an oven.
I have an oven.
I have an oven.
You're in a cult.
I have an oven.
F*ck off.
(And if you're STILL reading for some masochistic reason, sorry about not posting much on the main channel of late. Working on a bit of a larger project this time around, can't wait to share it with you. Well, obviously I can wait because I'm waiting right now, but you know what I mean, it's figurative, you're always picking on me like that, stop it.)
Переглядів: 45 753

Відео

The Answer is Not a Hut in the Woods
Переглядів 4,1 млнРік тому
Main channel: ua-cam.com/channels/imiUgDLbi6P17BdaCZpVbg.html Music used: Simon Anderson's arrangement of Ave Verum from Choral Voices. And something I threw together on the piano: soundcloud.com/exurbia-1/wheres-my-goddamn-meadow
talking cat film is extremely good
Переглядів 647 тис.Рік тому
I mean Apocalypse Now is pretty heady, but this was something else Main channel: ua-cam.com/channels/imiUgDLbi6P17BdaCZpVbg.html
Sea of Thieves - A Friendship Review
Переглядів 138 тис.Рік тому
Shiver me timbers that's a high ping. Main channel: ua-cam.com/channels/imiUgDLbi6P17BdaCZpVbg.html
2001: A Space Odyssey is the greatest film ever made unless you disagree which is like totally fine
Переглядів 631 тис.2 роки тому
Main channel: ua-cam.com/channels/imiUgDLbi6P17BdaCZpVbg.html Also, that should've been there's no guarantee we *won't* return to the dark ages Kubrick being uncharacteristically explicit about the meaning of 2001, as mentioned: ua-cam.com/video/Gdbh_FiRLyw/v-deo.html
The Circle is Hurt: Adventures in Learning Bulgarian
Переглядів 201 тис.2 роки тому
Main channel: ua-cam.com/channels/imiUgDLbi6P17BdaCZpVbg.html The song at the end is Iziel je Delyo Hagdutin - Valya Balkanska Lovely isn't it? Bonus fact: It's travelling on the two Voyager spacecrafts' 'golden record', currently 14 billion miles from Earth ua-cam.com/video/ZP29VyGOLnw/v-deo.html
Tenet - A Review
Переглядів 263 тис.3 роки тому
wohemos levart emit ydorap ot sdrawkcab nettirw ekoj-atem yrotagilbO Main channel: ua-cam.com/users/willunicycleforfood
Catastrotivity - Ep. 6 - Misery is the Compost Art Grows In
Переглядів 83 тис.3 роки тому
If you'd prefer, you can download the mp3 version here: soundcloud.com/exurbia-1/catastrotivity-6-misery-is-the-compost-art-grows-in
Catastrotivity Ep. 5 - Impostor Syndrome
Переглядів 83 тис.3 роки тому
If you'd prefer, you can download the mp3 version here: soundcloud.com/exurbia-1/catastrotivity-5-impostor-syndrome (the scrapped, stolen video idea in question: ua-cam.com/video/1n4ejEikkE8/v-deo.html)
Catastrotivity Ep. 4 - Adventure Mode
Переглядів 72 тис.3 роки тому
If you'd prefer, you can download the mp3 version here: soundcloud.com/exurbia-1/catastrotivity-4-adventure-mode/s-ml2r8WjbrAx The other episodes can be found here: ua-cam.com/video/5Tx6U5OhMDg/v-deo.html
Catastrotivity Ep. 3 - Criticism
Переглядів 95 тис.3 роки тому
If you'd prefer, you can download the mp3 version here: soundcloud.com/exurbia-1/catastrotivity-3-criticism The other episodes can be found here: ua-cam.com/video/5Tx6U5OhMDg/v-deo.html
Catastrotivity Ep. 2 - Creative Burnout and Getting Stuck
Переглядів 127 тис.3 роки тому
If you'd prefer, you can download the mp3 version here: soundcloud.com/exurbia-1/catastrotivity-2-creative-burnout-and-getting-stuck The other episodes can be found here: ua-cam.com/video/5Tx6U5OhMDg/v-deo.html
Catastrotivity Ep. 1 - You're an Artist, Harry
Переглядів 299 тис.3 роки тому
If you'd prefer, you can download the mp3 version here: soundcloud.com/exurbia-1/catastrotivity-1-youre-an-artist-harry The other episodes can be found here: ua-cam.com/video/5Tx6U5OhMDg/v-deo.html
Ode to Nashville (or: An Unauthorised Eulogy for David Berman)
Переглядів 133 тис.4 роки тому
David Berman - 1967 - 2019. Corrections and suggestions below. *At one point I said, "August of this year", though we're in 2020 now. Apologies, please pretend this was uploaded last December as I intended. My favourite of favourite tracks of his. I hope you enjoy them as much as I still do. Margaritas at the Mall - ua-cam.com/video/BamaU09AdGA/v-deo.html Random Rules - ua-cam.com/video/jKl4Wpu...
The Lantern
Переглядів 1,5 млн5 років тому
The Fifth Science Ebook ► tinyurl.com/y8bmllrt A totally unnecessary but charming photo of a kakapo ► tinyurl.com/y96wcj72
The Dog Wrestler Waltz
Переглядів 580 тис.6 років тому
The Dog Wrestler Waltz
Blueshift
Переглядів 419 тис.6 років тому
Blueshift
Small Talk with Alexa
Переглядів 353 тис.6 років тому
Small Talk with Alexa
SpaceX Q&A Session in a Nutshell
Переглядів 280 тис.7 років тому
SpaceX Q&A Session in a Nutshell
Why I Run
Переглядів 1,7 млн7 років тому
Why I Run

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @person4449
    @person4449 12 годин тому

    But I wanna fish in the north woods….

  • @quangobaud
    @quangobaud 12 годин тому

    So much of the content-machine generated shizz that UA-cam now puts my way is actually based on exurb content. I just "block" them now. The machine loves you and it wants your brain/output (so that it can steal your earnings (by demonetizing your vids)). If UA-cam is really serious about how much it wants exurb content (as can be told by the desperate attempts to simulate it) then UA-cam shouod work something out with exurb. I come to annoy UA-cam, not to praise exurb. (Your sfuff was pretty good (by objective opinion).)

  • @maxthehandsome6459
    @maxthehandsome6459 12 годин тому

    I get more happy from the notification of a new video from you then allot of other things

  • @magyger265
    @magyger265 12 годин тому

    The guy 💕

  • @miketothe2ndpwr
    @miketothe2ndpwr 13 годин тому

    Im 35 last month and my wife is being induced for our first child in 5 hours. What a prescient poem. Much love.

  • @5_gyy697
    @5_gyy697 13 годин тому

    Live -> airfryers -> "I HAVE AN OVEN, I HAVE AN OVEN"

  • @LilythathappenstobeinaValley
    @LilythathappenstobeinaValley 13 годин тому

    I am thinking about ur cat :3

  • @alanaginsberg4166
    @alanaginsberg4166 13 годин тому

    Air fryer no... But a rice cooker? Changed my life ❤

  • @bretthull8017
    @bretthull8017 14 годин тому

    Did someone watch the Atlanta season 4 opener?

  • @user-jt8cc9rs4s
    @user-jt8cc9rs4s 14 годин тому

    Air Fryers are the goat.

  • @thebluebaron6649
    @thebluebaron6649 14 годин тому

    I'm slightly aghast - Our self existential alcoholic turtle has remained..! 😏

  • @LovelyBirdwingButterfly-bw9zn
    @LovelyBirdwingButterfly-bw9zn 15 годин тому

    30 hit me like a truck man lol

  • @fredcrinson2715
    @fredcrinson2715 15 годин тому

    I put off watching this one for a few days. Mulling over whether or not it would exacerbate my current crisis. Now that I bit the proverbial bullet; I´m grateful I did. That ending, so succinct.

  • @petmop1309
    @petmop1309 15 годин тому

    Brother you always make me hike the mountains, thank you for making videos and such

  • @malcontender6319
    @malcontender6319 16 годин тому

    What is this depressive garbage doing in my suggested?

  • @prateeksharmakharel7678
    @prateeksharmakharel7678 16 годин тому

    I'll watch this in 7 more years when I can relate.

  • @LautaroEspineira97
    @LautaroEspineira97 16 годин тому

    I´m from Argentina, I just bought an air fryer last week, and I´m turning thirty in a couple months. Was this video wierdly made for me? jajajajajajaj

  • @maxwhitworth9178
    @maxwhitworth9178 16 годин тому

    I'm buying your cat with or without your permission

  • @zunzwak4482
    @zunzwak4482 17 годин тому

    What’s the blaohd biay marshy acdaeu.

  • @ankitabiswas9338
    @ankitabiswas9338 18 годин тому

    This man feels like home.

  • @Sport-ws6ef
    @Sport-ws6ef 18 годин тому

    Hahaha good one :P :P Any machine that can cook for you that shuts off automatically is a dream come true for me! My 20s ADHD-brain burned so many dishes that I came to hate cooking. I thought i shouldn't need help from a fancy machine like an air-fryer, I should be able to cook by myself constantly stirring the food (boring!!! and no, watching a show in the meantime is a fire hazard, trust me) .... now that I'm in my 30s I realised, I'm an adult now! I can just cook however I want! Buy whatever machine I need! I now have a big (rice) steamer that can make whole stews for me and shuts off automatically, lifesaver! My oven shuts off automatically as well, it's great!

  • @Devil-Made
    @Devil-Made 18 годин тому

    I’m currently dealing with the parents-obsessed-with-air-fryers stage myself. I understand your plight, friend. Much ❤. Always good to hear your voice on a rainy day.

  • @DingleFlop
    @DingleFlop 19 годин тому

    Air fryer isn't a fad, it cooks faster than an oven, it makes things crispier than an oven, it's great for broke college kids that need to reheat whatever leftovers they can scrounge to perfection without them getting soggy and gross...

  • @dieselboi666
    @dieselboi666 19 годин тому

    Hard to believe the answer is not a hut in the forest was a year ago. That's resonated with my soul throughout this time quite profoundly. Thanks for being you❤ I hope wherever you are, life is being kind to you brother.

  • @MrTuneslol
    @MrTuneslol 19 годин тому

    He remembered his password!!

  • @MetricZero
    @MetricZero 19 годин тому

    Ah, just in time for my morning dose of existential angst.

  • @whitlee0913
    @whitlee0913 19 годин тому

    I'm not solipsistic enough to believe you exist to make my life better. However, one never gets that which isn't reached for. So, I ask that you please consider writing another book of poetry. I am lost, too. The words you string into verse make it feel less lonely here.

  • @henryw.hofmann8765
    @henryw.hofmann8765 20 годин тому

    New gospel dropped 🎉

  • @sdrawk3611
    @sdrawk3611 20 годин тому

    39 year old me who loves making chips in his air fryer: "Huh that's interesting" *chomp*

  • @AdamBorseti
    @AdamBorseti 20 годин тому

    As a 33 year old, I approve this message. Except for the making the bed, fuck you it's fine. 😂

  • @avatarmarvellian5644
    @avatarmarvellian5644 20 годин тому

    The whole video is basically building up to hate on air-fryers

  • @KThatFeeling
    @KThatFeeling 20 годин тому

    Bro we gotta be twins because this is too accurate. 😂

  • @adamtschmidt4303
    @adamtschmidt4303 20 годин тому

    A.g e.= Another. Gift. Experience.

  • @bunnypeople
    @bunnypeople 20 годин тому

    Air fryers are fucking awesome. The counterpoint to the oven is that it's incredibly inefficient and we probably all shouldn't own one.

  • @CreativeIsolation
    @CreativeIsolation 21 годину тому

    Just wait till he hits a midlife fry-sis. Seriously though, 40 is a whole new thing and air fryers are really great, especially when you don’t have AC and it’s 90 degrees outside.

  • @deathstar2730
    @deathstar2730 21 годину тому

    This man posts at the most random times.

  • @XodiSam
    @XodiSam 21 годину тому

    Please, can you just post the end of this without the story?... Some of us would just like to listen from the part of what you learned

  • @IchabodLocust
    @IchabodLocust 21 годину тому

    Bro doesn't have an air fryer lmao

  • @silverblank1139
    @silverblank1139 22 години тому

    Who do you work for, Big Airfryer?

  • @TheDrmimizu
    @TheDrmimizu 22 години тому

    I just popped a pizza in the air fryer then opened up UA-cam to see this. (As a note, though: I my apartment does not have an oven, and I'd had a single hob burner as my sole cooking mechanism prior to getting this air fryer)

  • @jplds87
    @jplds87 22 години тому

    I was just thinking about when you would return the other day! So thankful :)

  • @bigallru
    @bigallru 22 години тому

    😀

  • @stevenfillinger8848
    @stevenfillinger8848 23 години тому

    I saw some wierd allegations a while back about u, some shit in the Netherlands if I remember correctly, with a girl that used to help with your videos, shits pretty hard to find tho without some super sleuthing tho.

  • @asrondthewizard1783
    @asrondthewizard1783 23 години тому

    I hope you live until you see the stars you love so much

  • @oranmehmet7628
    @oranmehmet7628 День тому

    You come into this world knowing nothing. You then learn and think you know everything, you realise that what you know is still pretty much nothing and final you enjoy what you do know ❤

  • @jvck4102
    @jvck4102 День тому

    This man represents both the calm and intense anger I feel in my waking life

  • @Siuil
    @Siuil День тому

    No wonder your bag was heavy when you brought all those books 😉

  • @sofiamaldonado411
    @sofiamaldonado411 День тому

    Argentina mentioned 😎

  • @jcd327
    @jcd327 День тому

    I needed that ending, truly. Thanks

  • @lubosbeneda8132
    @lubosbeneda8132 День тому

    You clearly don’t own an air fryer 🗿